Give it your best shot.

             Dissappointment is a part of life. You will never exactly be what anyone wants you to be and you will let everyone down, just as they will let you down. Picking the people you choose to trust you must understand that they are not perfect. Everyone will let you down, you just have to decide who is worth the heartache. Being stood up may not be as bad as a missed call but both ways you will feel disappointed if it means something to you.
     Unfortunately I have taught myself not to expect too much from anyone. Higher expectations = more dissappointment. I like to think im a pretty good friend, I almost never bail on plans, I do not spit words like fire, and I will not judge you. The reason I am able to be like this is because I dont care what you do, who you are, or where you've been, because here and now is all that matters. I have been let down alot and unfortunately I have had feelings for some dissappointing people. It is not unusuall to chase in uncatchable person in an impossible race. All you can guarentee is that you will give it your best shot.
     Most people think that I am a very strong person, and often intimidate the people around me. But no, I am not a person such as this. My insecurities enable me to build emotional barriers and limits. My nature is very humble, I never ask much from anyone because I know not to expect too much. I know better than to easily trust, I know better than to give myself out. I am a very open and genuine person most days, but on other occassions I am a love sick teenegers worst nightmare. When I change my mind it happens so suddenly I have no choice but to react accordingly. I promised myself that I will do my best to follow my gut, because if you dont let your heart speak you will never be happy.
     I have a heart capable of the most beautiful spark, or of the most chaotic wildfire. Sometimes I feel nothing at all and mostly that is the case, but when I am illuminated I can be the most vulnerable love stricken person you've ever met. I have only felt completely illuminated twice in my life. The reason I use the term 'illuminated' is because in that moment of pure bliss and satisfation, you feel like you could glow. You feel like the most beautiful creation straight from God's hands and the air you breathe seems the sweetest its ever been.
     I beleive that in the moments of illumination we are the closest to stars than we could ever be. Wether its a star in the sky or a star on stage, you feel loved by the world and at peace with everything. These moments are only found when you follow feelings and allow yourself to go where you dared not go before. It does not have to involve anyone else, you can illuminate when you have reached a goal or accomplished something great.
     Dissapointment may be the likely outcime of taking a chance, but sometimes we get lucky and find illumination. You never know what you may be handed, but always give it your best shot.